


JohnDave A-Z

by kiexen



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-07-26
Updated: 2013-10-06
Packaged: 2017-12-21 11:24:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,588
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/899723
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kiexen/pseuds/kiexen
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which I write 26 one-shots, one for each letter of the alphabet. Here is A.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Apple juice

A  
Apple Juice  
"Dave, seriously, how the ever loving fuck can you drink all that apple juice? Don't you ever get sick of it?"  
"Nope. Apple juice is the drink of the gods, John, of which I am one." Dave replies, and takes a sip of the aforementioned juice.  
"Dave."  
"John."  
"I am revoking your apple juice privilage." You say, and swipe the juice from his hand.  
"The fuck? Give me back my apple juice. I went the entire fucking game without it, and you're taking it from me? You are a cruel boyfriend, John. This is isn't fair. I don't take away your shitty movies cause you watch them too much." You roll your eyes.  
"One, they are not shitty. And two, you can't get sick from watching too many movies, like you can from drinking too much juice." You cut him off as he tries to object. "And no, just because you are a Strider, does not mean you can't get sick. You are human, Dave." You sigh. "Yes, we are gods, but we are still only human."  
"John. I really don't think I'll get sick off of apple juice. I drank it my entire life up to the game and never got sick off of it." He makes a move to take the juice back, so you hold it out of his reach.  
"You never drank it in as large amounts as you do now. I'm worried Dave, this is all you drink." You frown. He has literally not drank anything but apple juice since you and your friends beat the game. And that was almost six months ago!  
He sighs. "John. If I promise to drink less, can you reinstate my apple juice privilage?" He gives you a puppy eyed look, and you can't help but give in. Damn it. You can't say no to that face, exspecially without his shades, and he knows it.  
You sigh and hand him back his juice. "Fine. But I am rerevoking it if you go back to only drinking it." He takes the juice from you and takes a sip before setting it down.  
"A'ight. You know, you're really cute when you're worried." You roll your eyes and he kisses you quickly. "It shows how much you care about little ol' me." He kisses you again, longer this time. After a few moments he pulls back.  
"I worry because I love you."  
"I know. And I love you too."


	2. Butts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> B is for butts. Dedicated to my dear moirail and her love of butts. Enjoy. Or try to. This was writen at five thirty in the morning cause aforementioned moirail said it can't be done.

B  
Butts  
You jump when you feel the hand grope your butt and whisper in your ear, "Do he got the booty? He dooo." Whipping around, you find Dave in a fit of laughter. "Dude, you should see your face, oh god."  
"What the fuck, Dave?" You glare at him.  
"You have a nice butt, okay? Do you expect me to resist that fine piece of Egbert ass?" You roll your eyes at him.  
"Yes. I do. Especially in school." He laughs more. "Seriously Dave, how would you feel if I just randomly groped your butt in the middle of school?" He calms down enough to shrug.  
"Pretty cool. It's means you can't resist this Strider's bootay."  
"Dave no stop."  
"Nope." He deadpans. "Not gonna stop. That is my plan. You can bet on it, bet on it, bet on it, bet on me."  
"Dave."  
"Yes, John."  
"Stop singing High School Musical 2 songs."  
"Not gonna stop. That is-" The bell (thankfully) cuts him off.  
"Saved by the bell!" You jokingly exclaim as you two walk down the hall.  
"Fuck you."  
"Can't, in school right now."  
"Oh my fucking god, John."  
"You love me."  
"Yep."  
As you reach your classroom, before turning into the room, you grab Dave's butt and disappear into the room giggling.


	3. C- Cool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This did not go the way I planned. It was origanally supposed to be John trying to be cool. But I like how it turned out anyway. So enjoy number C! Letter 3!

C  
Cool  
"John, have you seen my sha- why the fuck are you wearing my clothes." You jump at his voice and slam your laptop shut.  
"Uh, no reason?" You try not to look too guilty as you look up at him from your seat on the couch.  
"No reason, huh?" He sits beside you and raises an eyebrow.   
"Y-yeah. No reason." He snorts at you.   
"A'ight, then why did you slam your laptop shut when I walked in?"   
"Because you scared me, duh."   
"Most people when they are scared they don't slam their laptops shut unless they are hiding something." Shit. He's right. "They normally just jump."  
"I'm not hiding anything, though."  
"Then let me see your laptop."  
"No!"  
"If your not hiding anything then why can't I see it?" Fuck. He's got you there. God damn it, Dave. This is why we can't have nice things. "Well?"  
"Well nothing. I am not hiding anything, and that is all there is to say on the matter!" He snorts at you.  
"Prove it. Prove you ain't hidin nothin and I'll leave you alone." Damn his accent. You can't say no to anything he says when he uses it, and he knows it.   
"Fine! Whatever!" You thrust the laptop at him and attempt to abscond, but to no avail. Dave had grabbed your arm to prevent you from leaving.  
"Fleeing- number one sign that you were up to something." He smirks and you scowl. "Aw come on, don't currupt your pretty face with that look." You blush and drop the scowl. "That's better." You roll your eyes at him. "Now, what were you up to, hm?" He opens the laptop, and once it turns back on he reads what was on the screen. You watch as his expression becomes more amused by the second before he bursts out laughing.  
"Shut up, Dave!!"  
"Why were you looking up how to be cool!?" He gasps out between breaths. You snatch the laptop back, a little more forceful then was necessary, as he looks like he's about to fall off the couch with how hard he's laughing.  
"No reason! Shut the hell up Dave!" He manages to calm down enough so not to fall off the couch.  
"Y'know, if you wanted to learn the ways of being cool, you could have just asked me."  
"Why would I ask you? I'm enough of a dork already."  
"I am not a dork, did I need to look up how to be cool?"  
You blush. "Shut up!"  
"Noooooooope."  
"Damnit!" He starts laughing again, and you glare at him. "Keep laughing and I'll give you a reason to laugh!"  
"Oh really?" He doesn't stop laughing. You warned him. Setting your laptop aside you tackle him to the couch and assult his sides, making him laugh even harder. "John, no, stop that!"  
"No! I told you if you kept laughing I'd give you a reason to laugh!" You continue to tickle him untell you think you've punished him enough. At which point, you collapse on top of him, and giggle as he tries to catch his breath. He takes his shades from you, which had been sitting on your face up to now, and instead of putting them on, he just sets them on his head.  
"I'll take those now." He looks you over then adds, "Though you do look good in my clothes. But I bet you'd look better without them." He whispers the second part. At which you blush and mumble another "Shut up, Dave" at him. He chuckles and runs a hand through your hair. "Why WERE you looking up how to be cool, anyway?" Your muttered reponce appearently was not heard, for he raises an eyebrow and says, "You should stop mumbling so much, no one can understand what you say."   
You sigh. "I said I was because I wanted to be more like you, when you're not being dorky."  
"Why now, all of a sudden, do you want to be cool?"  
"I- well.." You trailed off, looking away from him.  
"Well what?"  
"Well I thought you are only dating me cause it can be deemed ironic. The coolkid dating the nerd." You say, so quiet that you are unsure he even heard you. He's silent for a few moments and you panic. Was that the truth, and he's going to break up with you now that you've figured it out? You open your mouth to say something but are interruppted by him speaking up.  
"What- where the hell would you get that idea?" You look up at him sharply, that not being what you had expected him to say. You also note the slight bit of alarm in his voice. Maybe because you figured it out?  
"I was thinking it over the other day, and it makes sense..." You contemplate adding that someone had pointed this fact out to you, which had made you think about it, but decide against it.  
He's silent again for a few minutes before blurting, "That is the most ludicrous thing I have ever heard."  
You blink at him, dubious that you heard him right. "Huh?"  
"That was the most preposterous thing I have heard. I would /never/ just date you just for irony. I am dating you because I like /you/. Not the fact that it is ironic. I didn't even realize it could be considered ironic." He adds as an afterthought. You feel considerably happier now that you know it never even crossed his mind that this is ironic. "I don't want you to change, I like you as the marvelous dork you are now."  
"Oh shut up, Dave." He snickers, and after a moment you add, "I love you."  
"I love you too." He responds without missing a beat.


End file.
